Bundle of Love

ah babies are so beautiful. i saw some pictures today of an acquaintance's baby. a young woman my age, unmarried, and she has a beautiful 3 week old baby. the troubles and stress she has had to deal with don't even cross my mind as i yearn for a beautiful, innocent baby of my own. i sat in my sister's kitchen yesterday holding her 8 month-old boy Steven Joseph just wanting to run out the door with him. this thought came out of my mouth and my overwhelmed sister chuckled, "take him." i cannot describe it poetically. it is not poetic. a desire for something you don't really want at the time, something that is way premature in the "plan" you have set for yourself, but i still have yearning in my heart for a baby. not so much to "be a mother" but just to think that all the love in my heart could have the power to give a life. the love that i uncontrollably shared with a man, because gosh knows i will never let myself fall for a man...but that it will be out of my hands. to have all that love bundled up in a tiny baby blows my mind. in time. maybe one day. i will live with the intentions of happiness and whatever comes along with it, i will be happy with.